Darling, the Italian newspapers contain nothing but article upon article of Fiat's latest decision in hitching their last star to Amercia's fat cars. I would conclude that if Gianni Agnelli still were alive, he'd cut the moon from its hinge and watch the sky light up in oversized headlights - without him. Everyone's talking about that disastorous agreement he made eons ago with America's General Motors that progressively let the American company court Fiat. Sadly, the Italian's feel they will watch their beloved Fiat die a slow death at the hands of Mr. O. and men in bad suits or would that be suits of bad men?
TRAGIC MISTAKE
What might at the time have seemed like a wise if not genius business decision on his part, I'm afraid that poor Gianni never envisioned Americans would become so fat that four of them in a Fiat would leave it going no where fast, let alone anywhere slow. With over 60% of American's overweight, they most certainly are looking for economical cars, but not ones which are small. There's a difference, you know.
Darling, you'll never believe the rubbish they're writing about Fiona's death. They're calling it a tragic accident. That she suffered a bad headache which caused her to drive over the avenue and into a crowd of scooters where she met her tragic death. They report that she was an American from Long Island, US, and her mother, Ms. Burberry, states her daughter was a victim of amnesia from an early age, who also went round stealing other's names which quite often found her in certain sordid situations. No. Really? Do tell. How about her stealing my damn Chanel outfit? They didn't print that, but said she was wearing a Valentino gown. These reporters come up with the most gawd awful trash when they haven't a clue as to what really took place. Or, maybe they do. Darling, do you really think it possible she worked for the CIA with Mr. Long and got knocked off for killing the wrong brother? I think I'll watch Andrea's round abouts with a little more caution.
The article went on to say that her funeral will be held the 9th May of 2009 at Grey Gardens and are requesting donations to the mentally insane, as flowers might cause allergies to those in attendance. Is that not the laugh?
And she did not crash into a crowd of scooters, Andrea and I saw her ourselves that night. She was throwing herself into and out of and into and out of and into and out of her car. I don't believe that amnesia or the story of Mr. Long's refusal to give her his password was the cause of her rather obnoxious behavior. I tell you darling, something's just not quite right.
The damn wench murdered my Chanel outfit fergodsakes, not a Valentino! Not one bloody word they wrote held a bit of truth and do you know what Andrea said?
"Baby, nothing's the truth but you and me."
Damn, but that man has a way with the words.
Well, we had the most wonderful rooftop long lunch reading the Italian newspapers and all when Andrea asked if I owned a riding crop. To which I answered yes, why do you ask? He said, "Just asking is all." Darling, do you not find that rather odd? He said we needed to get lost, go someplace no one would recognize us and that we should drive to Tuscany and tour the castles. He went to pick up my handbag to leave and asked what I was carrying to cause it such weight. I told him, "Oh, only a hundred or so shades of lipstick is all."
Two can play this game.
That loaded gun is my little secret.
Well, I was up for a drive as people were beginning to stare at us in a most unfamiliar kind of way. Darling, have you noticed that things just aren't seeming quite right ever since I bumped into Andrea in the grottes? Oh well, I'll figure it out another day or the next, as I'm having too much fun to let intrigue and espionage get in MY WAY.
Andrea says touring the castles will be a wonderful escape as we will blend quite well with the-
OUT-OF-TOWNERS.
Oh, darling, I do hope so NOT, as I find I've developed quite the passion for...
boys in fast cars.
Ciao-
-Jacqueline
postcript:
I've misplaced my gloves.
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