SOCRATES SAW MADNESS

I'm simply flush with so many thoughts to share, with you, darling:

Last night Harry and I were been invited to join the companionship of the Rockefellers on their big ship docked to the harbor and I met the most interesting man who is an author and goes by the name V.S. Ramachandran. During our conversation of a million and one topics he told me that Socrates saw madness as a gift that provides knowledge or inspiration. Of course, I was nothing but absorbed with the subject as I'm mad for inspiration and knowldedge. Socrates found that in madness, greatness is found. And that was that for ME.

Mr. Ramachandran then went on to unfold his own ideas of which I found myself loathing. He believes the colour-matching of clothes and accessories is linked to the experiences of our ancestors when they spotted a lion in the undergrowth by realizing that the yellow patches in between the leaves are parts of a single dangerous object. I know, darling, just dreadful, his analization of fashion like that. I couldn't but keep from looking toward Harry to rescue me.

Can you imagine how quickly he lost me in trying to explain to ME that my fashion sense is indebted to lions in the underbrush that my ancestors found between leaves?

Well, darling, it just goes to show you that anyone can say anthing no matter how many years they spend researching their book of ideas, but you'd be the fool to believe all their rubbish.

However brilliant you might not be, according to him, mad people are not damaged in their thinking but rather grand in their illusion of arrogance and that in itself provides opportunities to see beyond the normal dull of things to create visions of grandeur that would not, could not, exisit unless you were insane. It were as if I was in a hall of beautiful mirrors letting him go on talking about ME that way.

I myself brought to the conversation that most neurosis people carry are much heavier than my 42 pieces of LV luggage will ever be, as their baggage seems burdened with anxiety and mine are filled with designer clothes! Oh, darling, you should have seen the way his eyes fixed on mine after he'd listened to my grand ideas. So, of course, I had no choice but to go on and share with him ideas I've been pondering of late:

In this civilized world it seems to me that the myths of Greek Gods, those fearless fascinating heros who faced frightful monsters in epic battles, are much more in line with my way of thinking. Certainly you have to go no further than your childhood books of Mythology to see the beautiful creations they wore all the while fighting the evil in the world. They understood, quite like ME, that no matter the circumstance you might find yourself, the foremost important rule is to always look your best.

Well, look no further than my own personal hero, St. Joan of Arc. She most certainly showed fashion sense before her time, and she did it all the while on a battlefield to win back her beloved France. She not only was up against mighty England, but did it in the style of a man. Of course she was left no alternative back then because women were not allowed swords with their dresses. It made no fashion sense.

Joan was unequal in her fashion acumen as she instinctively knew how to belt her pants so they hung just so to show how lovely her boots matched her sword and sheild. Well darling, dear France owes their independence to Joan's understanding and appreciation of fashion on the battlefield. No doubt.

Tragically, Ms. O. still wears her belt unfashionably high which is the very reason the Americans look so damn obnoxious in their weight. It's fooling no one across certain borders. It's a sad case of The Emperor's New Clothes.

They'll simply never get unemployment solved so long as the masses assume their waist line begins right under their breasts. It's completely inappropriate but explains so much of their ignorance in over indulgence. Rather than eat properly, they simply demand Jesus Chicken on Sundays as their God given right and then lounge round and complain how the government's simply not treating them right.

What a complacent PEOPLE. There will be no revolution here other than the odd Mexican Raid, Chicken Fight or Tea Party. Your choice. Supersize, you say? Why stop there? We'll double supersize your choice; get in line.

And darling, do tell; who in their right mind would join a tea party with people who buy containers with labels that say "No Fat"? Which reminds me, please run with me to the Viadox dairy in the south of France just as soon as I'm home. I'm ravished for true heavy cream in my cup.

The irony in America stands straight up, as they eat all these gawd awful things that are wretched in taste and contain no fat, yet they are the fattest of all. Well, perhaps the irony doesn't stand straight up, but is pushing a shopping cart in their local market.

And their banks haven't any money and the people have no money and the only thing I can figure is that no matter how many people Ms. O. instructs how to grow a garden of one's own, they will forever demand Chick-fil-A at all hours so long as she continues to be on the front pages of W with her waist accented under her breast in an attempt to hide her ever increasing waist line.

I kid you not darling, these Americans have been fooled into losing all common sense and if the fashion industry over here doesn't right this wrong, I see nothing in their future other than more gluttony of which speaks despair.

Yes, I know our little Euro is having its own crisis, but that's just temporary, as we're certain to find a good hero soon enough who shall lead our country back to financial stability, which isn't that bad, as we haven't lost our fashionable comportment, you know; and well, need I say more? As I know you so agree. It's how we look when we're down that says so much about how truly spectacular we must look when we're up!

And with William now marrying Cate Middleton, we've so much to look forward to, as there will be so many new designs being created for the wedding that hearts will be lifted and joy restored. The monarchy shall not die with Lizbeth, what with Charles off pandering himself to the commonors and the like. There's hope in the air, darling.

Cate's told me herself that she's selecting hats for the upcoming season from designers all over Europe, which of course will create jobs for the millners and most importantly, she's ordering gloves to match! Everything will be fine, darling. I promise.

Ciao

Jacqueline