DO NOT DISTURB

How I do so hope you've read the news this morning. A picture of the King of France and ME is splashed on the newspapers' front covers. I look ravishing myself, but the King? Oh, darling, he looks absolutely fatiguee'. Well, truly, wouldn't you if your wife were twittering on about nothing but ME?

First thing this a.m. was the Bell Captain knocking at my chambre with a cablegram from my lawyer, that I chose not to pick up from the front desk last night when I arrived, which read:

ALLO CHERIE. FOR LORD'S SAKE VOU ETES ARE HARD TO KEEP. HAVE WIRED BRITISH EMBASSY YOUR TRAVELER CHEQUES. YOUR SPENDING IS BEAU COUP. TRES' AGREABLE WITH QUEEN. DITTO WITH JE SUIS. A' BIENTOT. SIR LEONARD

Darling, isn't that marvelous? My spending is so pas de quoi with the Queen, which means:
Oh, it's quite all right.

Mais non, I shant go wild in France on my allowance, but the euros are endless, quite like je suis!

Harry's dialed me that he's taken up with a crowd that's staying at the Quai des Grands Augustins so he can enjoy the sea breeze and salt air from the Seine. Which, between you and me, means he's rallied a troop of the like of him so they can mourn lost lovers together. Oh, how so not ME.

I've ordered up gateau and tea for breakfast and shall lounge in these beautiful lavendar scented linens till way past noon before I begin even to think of the perfect dress to wear as I promenade along the Avenues des Champ-Elysees today.

Oh, darling, I've opened the french doors onto my terrace and am watching the beauty of France through my billowing curtains. Nothing could be more lovelier than this moment. Knowing I've no where I need to be, and the front desk is holding all calls so I can do as I please, and should I decide to do anything at all, there'll be hundreds and hundreds of euros waiting just for ME.

Thank God for French politesse.

-Jacqueline