GOD SAVE THE QUEEN

Dieu et mon droit
"God and my right"

I was just running 'bout as fast as I could once I ARRIVED in England, as it had come to mind during my journey over the Channel that never could I wear anything of Lady Diana's as all her gowns in reflection seemed so frumpy and 80s which never would do for someone as splendid as me. So I dialed up my favortie British dressmakers and had them meet me at the PALACE OF WESTMINISTER.

Oh, darling, I just cannot tell you the fun that was had. Dresses and dresses thrown round the room with us all falling both to bed and floor in mounds and mounds of tafetta and silk layered deliciously in laughter. Anyhow, I chose from Stella a marvelous creation hot from her pressing room. Elegant, yet chic, low cut, but not too, as I didn't want to bow before the Queen and subject her to my bosom of lust. The dress is so terribly me, and Stella said I should call it my own. How dear of her, truly, to care for me so. Well, anyway darling, it's so classic and sleek, sleeveless and fitting like a glove in the most perfect shade of royal blue. I chose no hat, as I wanted all to see my radiant smile when the moment came that I be titled.

Lizbeth herself dialed my room letting me know she was awaiting my ARRIVAL in the Grand Room below. I know, darling, I really shouldn't call her Lizbeth, but we're such intimate friends and all, that it's been her pet name forever and ever, and in return I've allowed her to call me Jackie; and commoners you know aren't to call her anything at all, let alone Queen, that is unless they are in crowd cheering, "God save the Queen."So in keeping with protocol and for the sake of my title, lets us refer to her as:
QUEEN ELIZABETH

Well, she gave such a beautiful and truly "such about me" speech of ALL that I've contributed to the commonwealth and how brilliantly I wear the royal colour blue that now and forever I shall hold the title:
Lady Jacqueline

Of course it was a crowning moment in my life, but I rather doubt I'll use the title unless I've got to throw it round to get-
MY WAY.

We're spending the evening in her private suites, as Phillip's in Scotland hunting fox for the week. I only can hope that dinner's not bland as you know the royals and their bad taste when it comes to ruining what truly could be a divine meal. Hopefully there'll be loads of jams and gravies to spread over everything dry, as truly darling, whenever I'm visiting the palace it's the only way I can muster through those dreadful dinner hours. Odd, isn't it, how Britian's loathe flavor to their food? So, truly it's no wonder their fascination with crumpets and biscuits- dead bread.

Perhaps it's they feel guilty having so much while the commoners go without that it's their darling way of attempting to reach out to the PEOPLE that they are one and the same, but not really.

Oh, I'll dash Michelle O. to drop her some hints.

I'll be in a scurry to amuse the Queen with my latest travels as I'm meeting Lady Brett, Lady Olivia and Lady Anne to run from the castle and have a car drive us to club 3020 where we can get rip roaring smashed and laugh over our new titles. You didn't think I was the only one, did you, darling? Oh, heavens no. There are so many of us contributing to the commonwealth what with our good deeds of receiving ALL PEOPLE with good cheer and grace. Truly darling, there's nothing more to it than that. Allowing yourself to be entertained in all the right places while being damn jolly about the whole nonsense of it all.
Well, that and keeping thin.

And certainly, there's no volunteer work, as our Queen never would expect Ladies to work....
FOR FREE.

-Jacqueline