THE SPANISH COURT

Oh, please be a doll, won't you and round up your friends and have them buy tomorrow's Post?

SCOOTER KEYS SNATCHED IN MURDER TRIAL

BARCELONA SPAIN: ap wire
Jacqueline de Ladefaire

Early this morning in Spain's central court American Antony Baekeland by and through his guardain ad litem, Harry S. Wadernut, pleaded insanity in the murder of his mother Barbara Baekeland, dressed in Chanel. The dress was presented as evidence. It was obvious to the court what once was a beautiful creation now is nothing more than a bloody dress. The body of Mrs. Baekeland has yet to be discovered.

Justice Fredrico presided over the proceedings by making quite the fashion statement in wearing a beautiful silk robe of red. The courtoom was overcrowded but, done so reasonably well.

Justice Fredrico asked Mr. Wadernut what he recommended be done with Mr. Baekeland and was met with a compelling story of Mr. Baekeland's insectious affair with his mother, Mrs. Baekeland, and requested the court take into consideration Mr. Baekeland's kind gesture toward his mother in appeasing her terrible plight of trying to sway him of his homosexual nature by lavishing him with fine Italian clothes fit for a proper young man. It was their shared love of fashion that brought them to reach heights of unacceptable passion.

The senior Mr. Baekeland was heard laughing from the stands, though he made a grand statement in his own Italian silk suit of charcoal and black lizard tie up shoes. Justice Fredrico was forced to ask the Senior to settle down his amusement.

The prosecutor looking dashing in Armani requested the court take into consideration Mr. Antony's boar like behavior at a cocktail party given only moments before he stabbed his mother which caused a bloody mess and ruined the party for all in attendance. Given he was an American and had taken advantage of the Spanish people's custom of allowing children to enjoin with adults while at table, yet did not show proper manners called for a sentence of murder in the first degree.

Justice Fredrico asked if there were any witnesses and a stunning woman in Prada asked to take the stand stating her name only as Jacqueline and that she had been the guest of honour at the cocktail party. Ms. Jacqueline proceeded with a great sense of self as she was precisely cogent in unraveling for the court the direct circumstances of the whole bloody incident. She described in breathless detail what each guest had been wearing, going so far as to say what a devestating moment it had been for her to have witnessed the death of a stunning Chanel dress soaked through and through with blood from Barbara.

She further stated that she found the young Mr. Baekeland's table manners deplorable and felt he was responsible for ruining the party and no one else. Ms. Jacqueline in her impeccably sharp demeanor spoke quite eloquently of the events, giving the court a wonderfully illustrated image of the entire tragedy and that not only had Mr. Baekeland's behavior annoyed her that night, but she agreed with Mr. Wadernut that young Mr. Baekeland in an ironic twist of fate was sadly a victim of fashion and should be allowed his freedom based on his obvious insane desire to please his mother's sense of style wherein homosexuality was a faux pas in her social circle. At the closing of her statement the PEOPLE stood and clapped in approval of her good grace.

Upon leaving the stand Ms. Jacqueline stopped to gather her wide brimmed navy hat, white gloves and scooter keys when young Mr. Baekeland jumped from his chair and snatched from her hands the keys to her little scooter, then made a fast run through the court's doors.

Mr. Baekeland still is on the loose and a warning has been issued to all fashionable mothers to beware of a young homosexual man dressed in an Italian suit motoring on a light green coloured scooter.

A handsome reporter from the British press asked Ms. Jacqueline what she thought of losing her scooter keys to Mr. Baekeland after having just testified that he should be set free because irony and fashion don't always make sense?

With her charming wit, in place as always, Ms. Jacqueline told the reporter that quite honestly she felt terribly relieved from the burden of the atrocious little scooter, as it had done nothing but cause her distress, what with her couturier outfits not matching its style and colour. Further, she stated that Antony's departure from the courtroom was nothing less than a coup de maitre as far as she was concerned.

Asked what she would do next, Ms. Jacqueline replied that she and Harry Wadernut would first do a bit of sunbathing by the sea before hiring a car to drive them to France later this afternoon and that she hoped someday little Antony would appreciate his art and not smash it on mothers' heads.