PIRATE QUEENS IN TIGHT PANTS

Oh darling, I laughed till my sides ached for a good while when Harry came bounding on my bed bringing me a tarte mirabella accompanied with a notorious story of his night before. He says he's spent his last euros at Pierre Balmain on the Rue Francois 1. Not to worry I told him, the traveler cheques have come in.

Hopelessly smashed he and his crowd decided to cross the Seine by sea and not land. They talked a fine gentleman into lending them his boat and took off sailing into the dark. Well, you can just imagine darling, a boat load of Queens on the Seine in the dark and with no light! I couldn't stop laughing from thinking of the sight of it all. He tells me they bumped into more than a few harbors, which were one in the same as they kept going in circles. Is that not the riot?

Round and round in merry delight they kept going, that is until the concierge came down from the Hotel steps and demanded they put an end to their merriment as the PEOPLE dining outside were NOT amused nor tres agreable with their loud behavior.

It then began to rain, and darling, you do know how big Paris raindrops can be. So big that they were forced to make a mad dash into l 'Escargot, and instead of minding their manners and ordering potage du jour or Langoustines, as Paris is simply a world of fish, they kept drinking as if it were free. Presented the cheque, they simply laughed at the maitre 'de. They'd spent all their euros drinking only fine French wines since early morning at every bistro they passed.

I know darling, I told Harry they should have spent their day at the Ritz where my account is good till 2096 and all he need have said was la chargez si 'il vous plait. But, it seems they were looking for trouble and it most certainly found them as you should see Harry's bumbed up self. But, he's damn jolly about the whole thing; perhaps it's he's still drunk if not plum (that's his favorite colour) insane.

He then proceeds to tell me that two attendants came and picked him and his crowd up by their shirt collars and threw them out! That's right darling, straight on their backs and into the avenues. Oh, how you'd think he'd be ashamed. But, not my Harry. To him, it's all fun and games.

Anyhow darling, I got such the laugh and a sweet drink while Harry went on and on about himself.

We were listening to la musique from the radio when the BBC interrupted with news of Pirates on ships in our great oceans taking hostages for ransom of some sort or the other. Well, this image certainly was quite not the same as a boat load of Queens doing circles in the Seine.

So, darling, most definietely that put an end to our laughter, right then and there. I thought we'd rid our waters of these scoundrels centuries ago. Hadn't we? It just goes to show that nothing is sacred nor ever does anything remain the same. You must always be on the lookout for men in tight pants with scarves wrapped round their heads sailing on big ships in the night with no lights. I think Harry's outfit was quite similar if not the same.

Thank goodness he was playing on the Seine, as Harry might well have been mistaken for a Pirate were he on bigger waters. Pirate Queens! Now there's a smasing fashion idea. I kid you not, watch it become all the new rage on the runways this fall. What a smart imagination one can find when they put their mind to it, you know? I won't call myself brilliant, but you can, my darling.

Harry seems to have sobbered up quite nicely.

So we're off to Maxim's for a souffle' then to St. -Germain-des-Pres for a salade nicoise to discuss with the Du Pluexs my most lastest and marvelous idea. Yes, darling, they've found ME again. But, you know what a kick I get from sharing, most especially when they're ALL my own fabulous ideas!

Oh, darling, I simply can't wait to wire the Post for tomorrow's Fashion Page.

Tally ho. Is that something a Pirate might say?

-Jacqueline