HAPPENSTANCE

Down at the la Queerita bar I was, I know, looking for nothing or no one in particular.

And, darling, wouldn't you know, the du Pluexs walked in and Mrs. du Pluex was wearing one of those happi coats. You do know of them, right? Those awful little short lightweight Japenese coats worn with a narrow sash over street clothes? I know, I felt for her too. My God, we're in Barcelona for heaven's sakes. Not Portugal where anything goes. That is so the other coast.

Well, I highly doubt it was happenstance that brought me to their attention as they are staying in the same hotel Harry and I are. I mean, truly, after all I had been through this evening you'd think they'd have the good manners to stay out of the bar and let me soak in myself, alone.

But, tragically not. Seems they wanted to kiss me up. Now suddenly, I am not the terror who caused Barbara's beautiful Chanel dress to be ruined in that awful murder? Don't you just deplore people who once they realize how wonderful you are, you don't think they are?

And of course Mrs. du Pluex went on like a nut over my lounge wear and slippers as if I were the tops. I simply lit a cigarete and blew smoke above her direction. She was so of no interest to me. I mean, darling, the woman had turned on me only hours before.

Anyway, I let her go on as I did so want to hear what had happened to Antony and all. I don't think she took one breath between her sentences as she just had to tell all that she knew. Well, why didn't she tell me how irrational the Baekeland's behave at cocktail hour before asking me to join them? That certainly would have saved me much distress. Some people are just simply forever and always mindless of good sense. I mean, don't get me wrong, darling, I'm always up for adventure, but bad manners, murder and incest? REALLY. Spare me the drama.

Seems Antony was appointed a guardian ad litem and is going to plead insanity. NO? Do tell. And Antony is a homosexual. NO? Do tell. Truly, darling, Mrs. du Pluex had nothing of news to share with me.

Harry? I've misplaced him again.

Mrs. du Pluex had the gall to ask if I'd like to motor over to France with her and Mr. du Pluex tomorrow. I mean, really, I was speechless, truly. Our trip together is so over. They have been such a disappointment to me all the way round. And here I had thought them once so swell. Well, you know, darling, Mr. du Pluex is no fool. I knew right away that he could tell I was bored beyond yesterday, so he kept trying to pull her up to their room, to no avail.

Eventually I excused myself from her dribble and ran up here to write you all about the NOT so happenstance of being bothered by the du Pluexs.

In any event I may run over to Antony's court appearance tomorrow before I leave as I feel it my duty to speak for the PEOPLE of Spain. It's as if I sense their emotions of our common belief that Americans take advantage of other countries customs, you know?

Well, I just can't wait because you do know, darling, how much I love courtrooms and justice.

My only quandry should be choosing which house help I allow to steam my Prada suit, you know the one that goes so smashing with my wide brim navy hat?

I've just got to get some sleep, darling. You know how much judges appreciate a fresh woman.

post script:

Harry's just rang me up with the news.
HE IS ANTONY'S GUARDIAN AD LITEM.

I need two pills.

-Jacqueline